mental health awareness – Nurse's Notes

Therapy is not for everyone, although one could argue that it should be (especially for healthcare workers), particularly when you consider the statistics for Americans experiencing mental health struggles, including suicide (NAMI, 2023):

Fast Facts
1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year
1 in 20 U.S. adults experience serious mental illness each year
1 in 6 U.S. youth aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year
50% of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14, and 75% by age 24
Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among people aged 10-14

Many find it difficult to open up to a stranger (albeit a licensed professional) about our personal “stuff” (i.e., baggage/traumas/depression/anxiety/addiction/etc.); there is still a stigma attached, even now. I am not ashamed to admit that I have sought help from a therapist(s) at several low points in my life, and it has kept me grounded and open to discovering a basic level of understanding about why I self-sabotage and use avoidance to not address some of my issues… avoiding heavy, dark feelings seems like an instinctual form of self-preservation, does it not? But I do know that ignoring the problem, and hoping it will work itself out doesn’t really solve anything… it just delays healing, and moving forward from our pain.

I have yet to meet an adult that is over the age of 30 who hasn’t experienced some degree of a mental health issue, including depression and grief from experiencing a traumatic loss (death of a spouse/friend/child/parent/loss of marriage/job/home/etc.). Pain and loss go hand-in-hand… and as complicated as life can be, it “moves on”, as it should. I clearly remember a simple life lesson that I learned as a child, from another child… I remember feeling very sad about having to move, and my friend said to me… “yes, this is sad, but it’s not the end of the world; the world is still revolving”. While I didn’t fully appreciate the reasoning or reality check at the time, I will never forget the lesson that it taught me: life is hard, and it can be both sad and wonderful, but it goes on, with or without you.

So we try to be resilient and take one day at a time with the hope that things will get better eventually, but the indefinite length of time that defines “eventually” can be so elusive. While it seems that exploring a pathway past pain requires being hopeful and brave, each time it gets harder and harder to stay optimistic. Nothing kills hope faster than disappointment, and showing any degree of courage over fear has its consequences… embarrassment, shame, regret… all the greatest hits.

But my point is this… therapy helps. It heals, and it is sometimes the only thing that gives hope a shot in the dark.

Reference:

National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2023). Mental health by the numbers. Retrieved from https://www.nami.org/mhstats

I’ve watched the movie “Soul” so many times, and these words always break my heart:

“You can’t crush a soul here, that’s what life is for.”

(22 to Joe Gardner in “Heaven”, Soul)

Life is hard, it can (literally) be soul-crushing. It can be painfully cruel, and it is definitely not always “fair”. I try to remember that there are more “good” people in the world than bad, and most people mean well, but we live in a world where half of Americans can’t agree on basic truths. There is so much division and inequality that it is difficult to stay positive and not be pulled into a dark and negative space. At the end of the day, when we are left with our own thoughts and little distraction, we can feel alone and vulnerable, and feelings of loneliness, sadness, or regret can crush one’s soul.

But what if those dark thoughts are not yours; they are the thoughts of someone you love, and worry about every single day… what if every time the phone rings, you worry that you will hear the panic, or rage, or sadness in their voice… you stop breathing and your heart sinks, and mentally you go back to “that” day last year when you discovered that your child didn’t want to live anymore; she was depressed and in such a dark place that she could not see that things could get better. It hurts so much to see your child in pain. When you are a mother, it doesn’t matter how old your child is… 8 years old or 28… the worrying never stops. So you pray, and you hope that today is a good day.

2020: the year of loss

2020 was an unforgettable year that changed all of our lives, one way or another. As a nurse, my role was to show up and do my job, no matter what. We serve and care for others during a crisis… be it a pandemic, a destructive storm, or any other emergency that involves “essential workers” being placed in potentially dangerous conditions. Many healthcare workers have been traumatized by what they witnessed every single day during Covid. They were very brave; they felt the fear of the unknown, and they showed up anyway, in spite of it. They cared for the ill, and provided compassion and a hand to hold for those who passed. Covid changed all of us, for better or worse. Those images do not leave your head and can haunt you if you can’t separate work from your “real” life. For me, (just) being able to go into work and focus on others, gives me an opportunity to put my own “stuff” into perspective. After all, we get to go home at the end of our shift, our patients do not.

Mental Health Awareness

Please remember, as we say good-bye to May, which is Mental Health Awareness month, we need to continue to shine a light on the darkness and stigma of mental health, regardless of the month. The day-to-day struggles live on in so many of us. We all have things that we carry with us, and we all go through personal struggles; however, not everyone has the tools in their virtual mental health tool box to manage the rough waters that can pull us under, without a life preserver to keep our head above the water, and save us from drowning.

When one has mental health issues, they have to be brave (enough) to ask for help. But many cannot find the words to say it out loud for someone to hear (and help). This invisible illness is usually hidden and not talked about… often, until it’s too late. If only they held onto hope a little bit longer.

“Hope” is such a big word to me. It means so much more than the words that define it. It is everything. It is the past, present, and future. It is all of what you want things to be, and all that can be… it is the feeling that can keep someone holding on, and not giving up, despite being afraid.

The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone. There is always at least one person who cares about you. There is always hope.

If you, or someone you know, is struggling, please remember that there are places to go to for help, and people who can support you:

Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to reach a 24-hour crisis center, text MHA to 741741, call 911, or go to the nearest emergency room.

Tag: mental health awareness

therapy

Mental Health: hope & light vs. darkness