The Giving Key

The Giving Key is a “pay it forward” movement that helps support and create jobs for people transitioning out of homelessness (TGK, 2018). The concept of The Giving Key was created by Caitlin Crosby, who was a singer and living out of a NYC hotel room; she wore her hotel key as a necklace, and realized that like old keys, we are all unique, flawed, and sometimes discarded or replaced. She wanted to repurpose old, used keys and make them meaningful, so she got the idea to engrave them with inspirational words (such as Dream, Love, Hope, Strength, Faith, and Believe), and give back to the community to open doors to those who are in need of a place to call home (TGK, 2018).

Each key has a word of your choosing that represents something that one may “need”; the meaning can be different for everyone. The gift of the key may be yours in the beginning, but ultimately, the true gift is in the giving to others. When you find someone who needs “it” more than you do, you pay it forward and give them your key, and hope that it helps them, as it has you.

I have purchased several keys over the last few years. My first was “love”; it was an old silver key that had been weathered and worn. I identified with it. I wanted the gift of love to open up my heart to the world around me as it had been closed for a long time. It is a scary thing to be able to learn to love and trust again; I haven’t quite figured that out yet. Once a heart is broken, it is never truly the same. But one day I found someone who needed the key, and the word, more than I did…she was going through a really tough time after a difficult divorce. I recognized her pain and brokenness, and I knew that she needed to find love again…self love.

love

After awhile, I came across the keys again and I chose another word, “strength”. When both of my parents were diagnosed with cancer, and I was struggling with working full time and commuting to NYC, and taking courses for my Master’s degree, I prayed for strength to get through each day, and be present for everyone who needed me. A few months ago I reconnected with an old friend…the kind of friend that you don’t see often, but when you do, it’s like no time has passed at all. That day God put me where I needed to be; she needed to be lifted up. She needed a friend, a cheerleader, and someone who understood her struggle. Once again, I saw something in her that I knew all too well. I gave her my strength key because I wanted her to have a constant reminder that she was strong and brave, and that this, too, shall pass.

strength

My new key is “hope”, which I chose because it is something that I need to remember to never lose, so I don’t give up on myself or others. As long as there is hope, there is a chance that things will get better.

hope

I just purchased a key for my daughter. I won’t share with you the word that I chose for her, but it is something that I hope for her every single day. I only wish that she could see herself the way that I see her. It is probably my most important key.

 

The Giving Keys. (2018). About us. Retrieved from https://www.thegivingkeys.com

 

 

Why I Pray

I start and end each day with a simple prayer, which I’ve done for as far back as I can remember. Some days I ask for strength to get through the long day ahead of me; other days, I ask for patience, or guidance in making decisions. I often do “off-the-cuff” casual prayers, because that’s the kind of relationship I have with the ‘Big Guy”; these are actually more like “pep talks” before I even step foot out of bed in the morning. Although in serious times, or when I am worried about something, I go old school with the classics and pray like the good Catholic girl that I was raised to be.

prayer

This morning, after a long, sleepless night of tossing and turning, I prayed for courage. I tried to mentally prepare myself to do something that has been weighing heavily on my mind for the last two months. I had to have an endometrial biopsy done, which really isn’t that big of a deal in the medical/surgical procedure scheme of things, but I was worried nonetheless. It hurt like hell, but I got through it… and so the waiting game begins…these results must be ok.

Each night, without fail, I say a prayer hoping to be a better person tomorrow than I was today. I always try to do/be better. I think about what I should have done, or said, to make a difference. The day’s events play over in my head and sometimes do not shut off. On good days, I sleep well and feel content that I made good choices. Other nights, I think of things that I wish I had said, or not said, and just listened (better). I remind myself to listen more than I speak. I get into less trouble that way.

Accepting Disappointment and Moving On

I cringe when I think about all the time that I’ve wasted worrying about why /if someone doesn’t like me. In the age of social media, “likes” can easily be confused with a measurement of popularity, acceptance, or even love. I recently heard a song with the lyrics “how many likes is my life worth” (TCS, 2018), and it hit close to home because I have caught myself noticing who has “liked” my posts, and even more disturbing, who has not “liked” them; the silence speaks louder to me. I am (still) learning that it is really important, for the purpose of self-preservation, to not pay attention to the negativity, because if you allow yourself to believe that others’ opinions are more valid or valuable than your own, you risk becoming an active participant in the judging and minimization of one’s worth. That is a slippery slope of which I have been guilty.

Not long ago I held someone in such high regard that they were placed on the top of a virtual pedestal of whom I thought was “above” all others in my profession. It’s not fair or realistic to put someone in that place. It is literally a set-up for disappointment; no one can possibly live up to such expectations. Instead of blaming that person for my hurt and disappointment, I had to look at what my own role was in the broken relationship. While I am not responsible for what other people say or do, I am directly responsible for how I react/respond to people and situations. It is during the dark times when you find that your true friends will always shine a light in your direction.

Doing Your Best

All one can ask is that we do our best on any given day. Some days our best is a reach; we are tired and not as patient as we aspire to be. That’s Ok though; forgive yourself. No one can be “on” all the time.  Just remember that when you try your best, it is always “good enough”.

example not opinion

 

Reference:

The Chainsmokers. (2018). Sick boy. Retrieved from https://genius.com › C › The Chainsmokers